Jesse

Ramblings

2009-01-27T01:25:49Z

We're entering the fourth week of school here and things are going pretty well. I had a psychiatrist appointment today with my new psychiatrist. Just me and him. I'm definetely more of an adult now. He cut back one of my meds in half, and we meet again in two weeks, perhaps to take two meds out of the picture completely, leaving me down at two! Which would be pretty cool. More blood tests, etc, blah. I'm on like 4 or 5 medications due to going to the psych ward. And I need like... one of them maybe.

My main problem is anxiety, or maybe mania. Sometimes my mania can be a good thing. I get really creative and write really long posts on here and YT or make great stories. I don't have that much to add today. I'd like to request that people read my story. I will email it to anyone willing and able to read it. I wish I had more LJ readers, I remember back in the day like 8 years ago when every entry had comments. Now nothing gets commented upon, and it kind of sucks. That's one thing I miss about YT. YouThink.com entries got a lot of comments, even if some of them were a little mean, I let it roll off my back most of the time.

Well, that's about all that's going on. I have my first test in two weeks I believe. I need to study for it. My grades coming in are decent, but not great. I want to get an A or two this time, but it may not happen. Grad school is tougher than I expected.

Yeah oh yeah even more

2008-12-31T04:34:05Z

I walk like 7 fucking miles a day now. Seriously. 7.

I could do 10 easy. I want to go backpacking and camping with my friends Russel and Cetin.

I love the world and I love people. God damn internet people. ;-)

Yeah Oh Yeah

2008-12-22T00:06:00Z

I'm doing really well. But I'm being an attention whore. I want a huge party where I'm the host and the star and the awesome.

Jose Alvarez is a big fat retard and other observations.

2008-11-24T21:50:13Z

This is all YouThink.com drama. I know you all have me on your friends list from like 2001, but this is what happened to me. My mom is a racist cunt. She needs to be medicated now!

YouThink.com is just another website. It is not anything special or significant. It is a relatively small "internet community." However, the xenophobia and elitism of its members keep the site from growing. It isn't that hard, at this point, to fit into YT generally. If you go to the newbies forum and ask around, plenty of people will answer your questions and help you out.

If you post with good grammar and don't beat any dead horses, you'll do fine in just about any of the forums. Just don't swear, post porn or hit on the kids, and you'll be fine. And of course, you can't post "personal attacks." What is a personal attack? If someone complains about you, and the mods like them more than they like you, or the person you attacked is a mod, expect that warning. If they are insignificant or unpopular, you can get away with it.

Before we go on further, I'm going to admit to the obvious. I am Electric. I expect an additional month tacked on to my unjust ban that I never even received three warnings to earn. I am personally attacked on this useless site every day. People accuse me of making up the medical conditions I have suffered with since I was 15 just because they're jealous that I am better than them. Yet since I don't report those attacks, they are ignored. And since they come from the Grand Douche Travbowman and Captain Sh*teater Ugotgash2, I would be ignored if I reported them. I would be told: "We'll look into it" as they ignore it completely and instead fret about the leak.

I'm going to start you off with the inside scoop from the mod forum. Most mods don't do sh*t. They might gossip about members they dislike or protect someone who should be banned if they like them, but besides that, most of them don't pull their weight. I was once a mod. I did my job as a question mod. I wasn't the best, and Kiki and Bored and Trav sometimes would nag me about approving a repeat or a retried question, but I worked hard and put some time in do to the questions. So did some of the others. The funny thing is, the gossipy ones didn't do sh*t. A lot of them would just talk about the "leak" and worry that people were giving information to members that knew too much about bannings and posted things publicly.

Those mods didn't care about doing a good job or approving questions. They just wanted to be able to gossip about banning people and not answer questions from the public when they made decisions. Fascism is a blunt word to describe that sort of system, and it has only gotten worse.

Back in 2001, we hardly had the rules we do now. We blocked swear words and banned for porn and such. But the personal attack rule didn't exist until late 2002 or even early 2003. A member made an "anti-Bon" profile that was both accurate and hilarious, and Buddy made us all take it down and thus developed the PA rule.

Bon was an annoying manipulative girl who would personally attack others and lie about people but then complain to Buddy if someone stood up to her. Ugotgash2 (the same douche, yes) defended me from her once, and she almost got him banned for sticking up for me when she was the one who attacked me and said I'd have to rape someone to have sex.

But that's all long gone. The personal attack rule exists. The problem is, it is about both mod and user discretion. I get personally attacked more than just about anyone whenever I post anything in Journals or on a "Which YTer" thread. Yet I just ignore the baseless attacks and they keep coming. Mod discretion is a horrible thing, and we need to limit it as much as we can. The mods should simply follow the rules that they develop.

The Rules of Conduct need to be simple and easy to interpret. It should be a letter of the law issue, not spirit of the law. The members should have to see actual proof of relationships with minors instead of just threads saying "X has been banned." And mods need to be put up to the same standards that users are. There is one perverted douchebag of a mod that exchanges naked pictures with girls and is a stealthier version of JDAppleton. Ban him, not the resident punching bag/smartest YTer.

Now, I've rambled enough about the mods, but this is all true. Simple solution: Demod the corrupt ones. There are plenty. There are mods that sit there in their ivory tower, being fatasses, only coming out on major banning decisions/votes. We need mods that are in touch with the "common man."

I graduated with a political science major and I'm working on a sociology masters, so having spent seven years with you social retards and morally disabled lunatics gives me good perspective to analyze YTs situation as a community. I want another amnesty. I want to be unbanned. The mods need a massive reorganization, or even a revolution. I'm normally not very rebellious, but I have strong morals, and I will say without any doubt, I am a better person than most of you. I used to volunteer to help developmentally disabled kids. Just because I care about issues and politics doesn't make me a fag or a retard. It makes me better than you. (I'm speaking to the vocal minority that hate me. Everyone else should stand up for yourselves and think for yourselves for once. Or admit you're a useless douche.)

Now, for the personal story segment, or time for everyone except Le_Berger to stop reading. Le can analyze my mind and give some inaccurate yet hilarious description of my mental state.

I came onto YouThink.com as a 16 year old boy. I was naive and sweet. I trusted anyone who was nice to me. If a girl was sweet to me, told me I was cute, smart and nice, I would fall for her pretty easily. I wrote poetry to girls and they loved it. Maybe not the mediocre poems, but I really was genuine. At first, everyone seemed to like it. I had "adorable" YT crushes. For several month, my YT girlfriend was Jesusfreek, a very nice girl from San Diego. San Diego seems to have more than its share of awesome girls. Even now. You know who you are. I won't name you, but you can name yourself if you aren't ashamed that I like you.

Everyone seemed to find my crushes adorable/cute. No one mocked me at first. YT was a very nice place. We were more than just an internet community. Back then we were really small, so we really were like an extended family. I had "big sisters" that gave me advice on how to do well in school, edited my college essays, and read my writing. Lilsublime was once of the best. She always stood up for me when people picked on me, even if the other person was her friend, too. Technochick edited my first short story and taught me how to keep my verb tenses consistent and write grammatically correct dialogue.

Buddy was active on YT. The newsletter was written by him, and he replied to PMs. He even let me interview him for a school assignment. I wrote about him and YT. Back then, we were all close. Buddy seemed to actually care about the kids that were on the site. That hadn't completely died. I've met Buddy's mom at YTCA meetups twice now. The closeness still exists at some level, but not like it did in 2001.

Of course, as the site grew, problems arose. The first was, as few of you now remember, Bon. Bon, Sweetshanny, and Demi_Chelle would harrass everyone in journals and make nasty comments such as wishing Cowpenguin had died in a car accident she was in. At first people mocked the "journalites" and journals was considered a "children/teens" forum.

Of course, that began to change around March of 2002 when people like Ugotgash2, Warrick1830, Jealousblues, Starliteyes, and Hottsmugirl joined.

Ugot and Hotts were rather cruel to me at first. In the summer of 2002 there was a group called YTIH8U or Hate group or something. I believe (though I had quit "forever" then) that these were the sort of people who actively looked to f*ck with the site and normal people by making alters and spreading rumors. The site was still really small and close, so it was almost as effective. These people would be calling and texting each other constantly and always gossiping.

Now of course, back to my YT crushes. Some of the poetry I wrote was for older girls who I had more of a sisterly relationship with, but I still crushed on them majorly. LedZepGrl and Pandapooky. LedZepGrl was a bit shy publicly, mostly posting the "Hanny and Pandy" show with Pandapooky, but besides that she didn't post too often. Pandapooky was YTs first celebrity. She was to beer as falconwing is to coffee. She got tired of the persona, from what I believe, and decided to flip out and create drama over key memberships. Ledzepgrl was there in this drama thread as well, but apologized later.

This is where I begin to sound paranoid. So far what I've told you is factual, without any speculation, or deep secrets involved. Bear with me as you travel down the path of redemption. That's right. Redeem yourself, asshole.

I talked with Pandapooky for a few months, and then LedZepGrl IMed me. I was under the impression they were twins. But it goes even deeper than that. They were the same person, or at least college roommates or something of that nature, so essentially when I was talking to Pandapooky, writing her poetry, it had been LedZepGrl the entire time. So when LedZepGrl talked to me, told me she lived an hour away from me and suggested we meet, I would venture to say she liked me. She acted like everything I wanted in a girl, since she had already gotten to know me through talking to me on Pandapooky's AIM name. She knew a lot about me already, so she already knew we had a lot in common. I regret that I didn't meet her. She quit YT I believe because people had caught on to her crush on me and she got shamed off the site for liking me. (we were flirting publicly all over the forums.)

I quit YT a month later, for a lot of reasons, though the final was some girl took me off her buddy list, which really wasn't my main concern, but just the straw that broke the camel's back, to use a cliche.

And mysteriously, just a couple weeks later, a girl named Dbbutterfly PMed me and told me she played the bass and dungeons and dragons. And she even liked baseball. It was like she was tailor made by someone who already knew me. At first I trusted her. She was Starliteyes sister, and Starlit had always been nice to me, so I had no reason to think anything was going on.

But Dbb's life was like a soap opera. Her father hid the plane tickets. She couldn't go to her academic bowl and meet me. Then when she went to college, she resorted to getting hooked on ecstasy and stealing things to keep up her habit within a month of college.

People like to call me crazy or rude for doubting her existence, but I do not believe she was real. There was so much crazy drama with her and I that I couldn't make sense of it. XDarkAngelX warned me that the article some alter wrote was about me because of something Badreligion told him. Yet Badreligion wouldn't tell me what she heard or where she heard it, and the person who wrote the article, Silversmoke3, claimed it was about her and had nothing to do with me and Dbbutterfly.

It was like a maze or a puzzle I was trapped it. I would ask Starliteyes and Dbbutterfly and they'd say "You're a writer! Check the source!" as if it was some riddle I had to solve.

But I digress. Or really, this has been a series of digressions. I don't expect anyone's actually read this far, except maybe for Tulip, and Tulip, don't stand up for me. I can stand up for myself. And mom, I know you're reading this as you worry about me, but I suggest you quit YT. You've done nothing but humiliate me on this site with your hidden racism and anti-semitism. People blame me for what you post, not vice versa.

I went back to YT in October of 2002, and at first everything was nice. People were all being nicer to me, generally. Most of the "bullies" were gone. And I continued my existence on the site and made new friends after Dbb went crazy. I always was cautious though. It seemed like there was constant gossip and drama about me. I tried to talk to girls, older girls in their late teens and early twenties, people who understood politics and could give me life advice. And that worked out well. There wasn't any more huge YT drama after Dbb.

I did "date" Pepperdrinks and people have tried to turn her against me by making up rumors that I said we met and had sex, when I never told anyone anything like that.

I talked to a lot of very pretty and nice girls in 2003 and 2004. I had more than my share of YT crushes, but I had learned to keep them out of the public sphere due to the protective insanity of my mom, and the cruel insanity of the YTers.

Now we're going to travel further in my mind. I'm going to expose myself and my mental state completely to you kids, since you like to make up disorders that I don't have or claim I fake the ones I do have.

I do not have asperger's syndrome currently. It was cured, or a better word would be treated. That is, with help, I was able to treat the symptoms and effectively not have the disease anymore, since it is defined by the symptoms.

I also have anxiety, and I've had it all my life. And I was always bullied like crazy in school. Mostly on YT, I would bitch about my high school bullies in questions and journals. At first, YT was my place to escape from bullying.

I had people who stalked me for two years in high school. So yes, I do tend to be a little paranoid, but rightfully so. There are people that hate me because I stand up for myself and am a very moral person. And if you disagree with me, I can easily spam up the site with Barry Goldwater quotations and Milton Friedman's negative income tax idea.

And I have ulcerative colitis, but it is in remission. If you f*cktardlickers remember, I've had several colonoscopies. The anxiety and the colitis do not work well together. When I get anxious, the colitis gets worse. When I get colitis, the anxiety gets worse. They feed each other and it can get ugly. Which brings us to 2004. I relied on YT my first year of college. I didn't like my roommate or most of his friends, so I spent my nights chatting with people on here instead of getting drunk on cheap watery beer.

And in May 2004, I had an anxiety attack. Perhaps "manic attack" would be the best word for it. I freaked out about a final in one of my classes. The thing was, I didn't even need to take it because it was optional, and I already had a C- (passing) in the course. But I had already gotten worked up about it and was up for something like 2 days straight with poor sleep the days before when I had my mom take me home. I took sleeping pills, and within a couple days, it passed and I finished my other finals and managed to get through my first year of college.

That summer, I looked for a job, and failing that, I worked for my mom and took a summer class. I got an easy A in the summer class, but I started getting sick in August. I might as well go into some detail. I threw up and could barely hold food down, but we did not think it was colitis. And yes Trav, I faked throwing up so you'd like me more and accept me. I care so much about the opinions of some guy who ruined my favorite website by being a nazi of a mod and picking Snowbdr88 to defend girls from creepy men.

I had to go to the ER twice that August, and the first time the medication I was put on made me sicker. The second time I was there for 3 nights, but I was put on Prednisone, which worked right away. I had a lot more energy and I was eating well. I even went to a Giants game the next week. I was very motivated about going back to school, and I started reading ahead in some of the books I had preordered. But when I got up there, it was too hot, and I started getting the same sort of anxiety I had when I had to leave a couple days early in the spring.

My mom picked me up when I had blood in my stool (which I faked just to impress the ladies, of course.)

She was concerned at first, but my heart starting beating really fast and I became rude to her when I got home. A sleeping pill had me down for a couple hours, but the next day I told my mom I hated her and caused family drama.

That night, late in the night, I was taken into the ER, and the next day I was admitted to the psych ward. It was supposed to be three days then I'd be out of there. But as soon as I got there, they had me on the phone with some doctor who put me on Seroquel and told me I wouldn't "hear voices" if I took it. I was really scared and my heart was going 155 BPM. I just said yes to everything because I knew they all thought I was insane. And I was, at some level, but it was abnormal for me.

The first night was probably the worst. I don't remember much of the first night. I remember walking into a door. I may have even been knocked out, but I can't remember clearly. I did hear some auditory hallucinations, and I wasn't sure what was going on because most of the time I was forced to stay in my room. They seemed to be trying, at some level to "Help" me. The first day I got there, I remember some kids trying to cast a "spell" on me to make me sleep. Obviously, it did not work.

Of course, then things began to get crazy. This is where I doubt my own perceptions. It had been days without sleep, and my heart was going at 155. I have some disjointed memories that I have for the last four years, been trying to piece together. And now I've finally gotten most of it. At first no one knew anything about me. I'm going to try to do this chronologically. The first night, I remember being sort of dazed and confused. I got lost around the complex, and I believe I was carried back to my room and the door shut on me, which is why I ran into the door trying to leave later.

At some point, someone called me Tric, which scared me. "Tric, I can see your dick!" someone cried out. People began talking about me. Soon, the "group" activity seemed to consist of people analyzing my LIvejournal or the stories I used to write. I'm not sure which, but I remember staying out of group and people saying the author of whatever they were all reading sounded like a "selfish boy."

Things got weird. Someone in the hospital seemed to take a liking to me and sneak in milkshakes from In-N-Out. I recognized the palm trees on the cup. I gave my YT password to someone who asked for it. People from another room behind me tried to act like they were voices in my head. There was a closed door behind me that always intrigued me. I imagined a huge room of people observing my every move.

At first, it was a nightmare. No one would believe me. I was "crazy." "Manipulative." a "liar." I thought I saw some YTers who were told to try to talk to me because they could help me. My mom stayed as long as she could, and early on I gave power of medical attorney to my dad so he could decide my medication.

There is one memory that I've tried to block out for the last four years, but now I realize it was the turning point of those horrible times.

I had a bad doctor who didn't know sh*t. He actually said that I "always acted this way." One of the nurses woke me up when I was asleep to give me medication to help me sleep.

I remember my mom arguing with people about me. Mostly I heard my mom's voice and other voices disagreeing about me. I also thought I heard some of the local YTers that were worried about me, as they talked to my mom. I never saw most of the people I heard, so maybe it was at another location, never happened, or the people were not who I thought they were.

But there was one argument that stood out. Three girls (I saw them, since my door was open) were talking to my mom about me. They said that they followed me around in their car and decided I walked weird and stood me up when they were supposed to meet me. "They" being LedZepGrl, Pandapooky, and some third girl that I'm not sure about. Maybe the third girl was a nurse or something.

The girls had their own twisted theories about me that had everything to do with how I behaved to them on YT and nothing to do with real life. They had only seen me in the catanoic state I was in at the time, so they had nothing else to base it on.

They showed my mom the sweet poetry I wrote them, followed by the angry emails I'd sent them about lying about being twin sisters, and talk about how I'd sometimes go off on tangents and rant about problems and get really angry but be sweet other times.

But when my mom told them the boys who stalked me were real after one of the girls broke down crying and asked how I could have changed so much, then she snapped at everyone else in the psych ward saying "You people are sick!", and suddenly things got a lot better for me in there. My mom asked me if I really wanted to hurt anyone, and she and my dad started bringing me outside to play basketball and walk and I ate food with the other people.

Of course, I wasn't sane at this point. Not a threat, but not sane. They gave me a private room after I had started sleeping, and I recovered quickly.

Of course, there's another memory I have. People were building me a makeshift strecther, but I just stood there in a catatonic state and didn't go. They were trying to move me to my new room, but I was unaware of the situation. Later I wandered around and someone told me I moved, and at the time I didn't understand what was going on.

Of course, what really saved me was a girl. A really hot girl. I am not making that up. She started a conversation with me. The first thing out of her mouth was "I'm pregnant."

She obviously wasn't, and I was suspicious of what was going on. I thought the psych ward was a cult brainwashing people, and the girl seemed strange. I said: "You don't look pregnant."

She replied: "Why thank you." in a teasing and flirtatious voice.

My mom informs me this girl then started talking to me about the Giants. I do remember her. I don't remember her and the Giants, but I remember watching the Giants after talking to her.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume she is LedZepGrl. LedZepGrl lived less than an hour away, and I wouldn't be surprised if she came that far to try to help me.

And I actually saw Pandapooky. I recognized her very well, and have several memories of her. She told my mom that she felt everything that happened to me was her fault. I remember trying to avoid looking at her. I didn't' want her to be there because that meant that all "you people" were real.

Those are the memories I used to try to repress. When I wouldn't sleep, I'd start thinking about those times again, and finally, about a week before the election it all added up. The whole conspiracy. There is a conspiracy, whether you rejects want there to be one or not. It doesn't target me alone, but many of us. There are people who actively look for ways to make others suffer on YT. Fat useless trashy people like Ugot who PM others and try to find ways to f*ck with our heads. I think they actually wanted to see me snap.

Of course, all I do when I snap is make straw man arguments and invoke the name Barry Goldwater. So f*ck all yall. I want to be unbanned, and I want a YT revolution. But really, I'm too good for this site. Yelena, Paperdoll, courtbebe, ehfahq, jstck, you all are too good for this site. We should meet up in the winter or the spring. I can tell you amusing tales of the olden days.

P.S:

Questions for all of you.

1. Is there really a conspiracy of jerks? (Not specifically against me, I know.)

2. Who is LedZepGrl?

3. How old was she?

4. Did she like me?

5. Why did people start spreading the rumor that I was racist?

6. Is Dbbutterfly real? If so, was everything she told me/people told me about her real?

7. If not, who "played" her and can they be banned if they were over 18 since I was 17 when I talked to her?

That felt good. Kind of like taking a dump on this site.

And Buddy, hear my cry. Fix your site. If you keep the status quo, I am going to boycott YT.

I just need attention from you random people. Someone punch my mom or get her a therapist.

Life without YT.

2008-11-13T03:04:46Z

I'm bored as hell right now.

Many of you know me through YouThink.com, so I'm going to post some emo crap here to get more attention. YT is a disgusting and corrupt site. It wasn't always this way. Buddy kept things running smoothly and the site had a friendly face. No longer is that the case. Buddy, at some point, gave pretty much all his power to Travbowman, who is to put it bluntly, a complete asshole that needs to be punched in the face.

He's the sort of guy that would vote out the autistic/retard/weird kid from a classroom. You know the sort. They had that woman on the news. That's Travbowman.

I'll start from the beginning. YT was a nice friendly place. We all got along and actually had debates. Jasendorf and Culann argued, but it was all in good fun. But then Lilsublime met Emitchell, Pantala got jealous, Ledzepgrl used the name Pandapooky, and all hell broke loose.

I'll start with YT's least-known secret. LedZepGrl. She was just a girl that posted stuff, really, but she also used Pandapooky's IM name, I believe. It makes a lot of sense. She would flirt with me on Pandapooky's AIM name and over PM for a few months. Once I had proven that I wasn't a typical shallow asshole, she acted like she hadn't really talked to me, got on her own AIM name, and we'd talk for hours every night and she made me feel amazing. Pandapooky caused some melodrama on YT, and ledzepgrl didn't really get involved, but she was blamed as well. Then she and I started telling people to get over YT and live their real lives. At the same time, LedZepGrl seemed to want to meet me.

That's when it started. We had upset the lifeless. The ones that actually hooked up with each other on YT and saw it as more real than their real lives. It was pretty obvious that LedZepGrl and I liked each other. She got pissed off, ended up quitting. Immediately, a girl named "Dbbutterfly" talked to me and told me she played the bass and liked dungeons and dragons. A little too perfect. She almost immediately fell for me, and offered to meet me. Of course, it never happened. She exploded in a ball of drama and acted crazy. And started a tradition of me fearing every YTer that ever flirted with me.

PepperDrinks knows this better than anyone. I am tired of this bullshit.

Even worse was when Ugotgash2 (Who despite being a fat useless piece of shit, is a mod now) got Cassiopia227 (also fat, also a mod) to coerce me into giving her naked pictures.

And this was all done to scare off LedZepGrl. I can't explain it otherwise.

LedZepGrl was amazing, and I miss her. I wish someone knew where she was.

And I do not fake my asperger's syndrome, like that nazi shit Travbowman says I do.

Yeah. Oh, no.

2008-11-10T08:31:40Z

I got banned from YouThink.com for exposing the mods as pedophiles and corrupt pieces of shit.

Basically, a girl on YouThink had a huge crush on me, yet she used more than one name to talk to me and kind of worried me, and then her sister talked to me too or something. I'm not sure at this point.

But I need somewhere to talk about how awesome I am. How about here?

Does anyone remember LedZepGrl on YouThink.com and have a way to contact her?

Obama is too capitalist, say socialists.

2008-09-15T09:14:47Z

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20080630/klein

I don't get it. Basically, he's a "commie" to the right-wing because he wants to help the poor, and "too capitalist" to the left wing because he wants to use the markets to help the poor instead of taxing the rich at 60% to give free education until college and welfare to anyone who is too lazy to work.

I've looked at all his proposals. He's basically what centrists have been waiting for since 1965.

Daniel Patrick Moynahan wrote a report about race issues in the 60s and talked about the issue of welfare.

For years they'd debate various welfare reforms but it was always too "Racist" to encourage people to have a family.

Barack Obama is what Daniel Patrick Moynahan was waiting for. He's one of them even if he's not, and they'll listen to him.

Centrist reforms such as Earned Income Tax Credit will simply make welfare unprofitable compared to getting a job and there will be prosperity.

The American right, or at least YouTube seems to think he is a communist because he wants to tax people making more than $250,000.

But his proposals are similar to the Negative Income Tax that Milton Friedman came up with long ago, except better, because you actually have to work to get the EITC.

I don't understand how anyone who has taken any economics class can call Obama anything but a capitalist.

He's a post-Lyndon Johnson centrist Democrat who realizes that giving tons of money to useless programs doesn't work.

The only reason the LP wont' vote for him is because the NRA has told them "Dark skinned terrorist gonna take away your guns." What the NRA doesn't tell you guys is that old white man is the one writing the anti-gun laws. But he's ok because he's white.

The fact that NRA has railed so much against Obama when McCain's record is no better shows that they are racist.

GunOwners says McCain is worse since he actually wrote anti-gun legislation and Obama just signed some.

I also suspect there is something going on with gun manufacturers and inner cities that the NRA doesn't want us knowing about. That seems to be the only legislation involving guns Obama has signed as a U.S. Senator.

It is a sad day in American politics. If Milton Friedman were alive his negative income tax would be called communist by some guy on YouTube who read one sentence of the Communist Manifesto.

We have two extremes that don't know economics.

The Left that screams about Obama talking to University of Chicago people after being nominated and thus he is one of "them." And the Right that thinks anyone who suggests America isn't perfect is a communist.

Obama's going to win anyway, it's just a matter if it's close or as dominant as Clinton-Dole in 1996.

I'm posting again, just because I feel like I should.

2008-02-27T07:08:50Z

Do you remember those good old days in 2004-2005 when I posted several times a month and people commented on my shit? I remember those days, those were good days... good days. :-P

I'm in the middle of my third week of my final semester of college! In seven months I will start graduate school in Irvine, that is, if I get in. Of course, I feel there is no doubting that I'll get in because my GRE score was 230 points higher than what I needed to get in, and my GPA is pretty decent (probably a 3.4 by the time I graduate!) If I had stayed in for another semester I would probably have managed a 3.5 and a "Cum Laude" (pronouced Cum Load.)

I finally bought another album on Itunes. The All American Rejects, whatever the newest album is. It's pretty good. I'm listening to Move Along. It's a pretty good song. You can dance to it, like Ben Graber dance-style. AKA jiggly mothafucka'

My classes have been mind-numbingly easy so far, but all we've had is reading and nothing else. I hope for more of a challenge soon, but not really because I have to hit level 70 in WoW and level 50 in LOTRO. (The respective level-cap for the two games.)

I missed my prior semester due to guess what, sleeping issues. :-(

I had to drop out in the 4th week of the semester because I was barely going to classes at all. I should have tried harder I guess but I was on some medication that was making me very "zombieesque"

Anyway, that's all for now. No drama or anything. Some girl wrote "I <3 you Jesse" on my suitemate's whiteboard. I don't know who that could be. There are cute girls that live across the way.

Well wellington

2008-01-26T08:02:16Z

It's been 26 long weeks since my last post. Things are better, I suppose. I had a job at Michael's for a while and I applied for 28 jobs. Anyway, please comment for the win.

It's been almost one years!

2007-07-24T07:22:05Z

Yes. It's been a long time. I barely come on here at all. Just so you all know, I am doing well. Dateless, but doing well. I've thought about dating less. I think I'm less worried about it than I was before, so maybe good things will come my way if I keep not expecting it. I'm doing well in a summer biology course, and I graduate next May! I am very excited and can't wait... to go to grad school, and then get some job doing something nerdy like research.

I've found I love researching almost anything and analyzing numbers. I'm very nerdcore, as you all have known for about six years.

Boo

2006-10-08T05:26:30Z

Anyone alive?

Hello my loyal reader(s)!

2006-09-20T03:30:56Z

I haven't updated since early July but I'm sure all four/five/one of you have gotten used to that. :-)

I've been doing well... school is going well. I did pretty poorly on my economics test, but that's more because I didn't know how to study for this guy's tests than me being doomed. I got 36/60... the average score was 35/60. I think he curves it somehow, so i think even with that score I got a C. i am hoping i can get As from now on. John Stephen will be tutoring me, offically. it's good for both of us. that kid needs to WORK and needs money... and i need his help in Macro Econ theory.

anyway... the girl i talked to before, the one i went out with once in june... I am 99% sure she still likes me.it's pretty obvious i just don't want to assume things and put all my eggs in one basket. :-P

So there's also another girl that has been takling to me a lot more this year than last, we've had classes together both semesters.

so yeah... life is good. talk to you later. :-)

yes

2006-06-28T07:02:22Z

Ok I have a date tomorrow!!!

And she's an inch taller than me... i don't care, that's good for me and she doesn't mind either! :-)

I mean as long as someone isn't a head taller or shorter than me it is not a big deal in my opinion

in an alternate universe i'm probably driving back from santa rosa right now

2006-06-27T07:12:59Z

with a huge grin on my face because i came back from seeing kate up there... :-)

Yeah she totally on a whim invited me to dinner with her PARENTS when i was texting her from work. I was really hoping I could be sent home then... i could have made it in time if I was, and it was slow but I didn't go home until four so i couldn't make it for her dinner by six. but it shows she must like me a lot and we are going to do something and soon.

my only concern is she could be taller than me, we haven't even mentioned height. :-P

I don't care but a lot of girls do from what I've heard.

holy shit

2006-06-24T10:35:52Z

I just realized i got a 20 cent raise from work probably from the evaluation... so i'm at $8.20 an hour now :-)

depression

2006-06-22T07:57:27Z

I'm really frustrated and depressed right now and i want to give up on this shit. It seems like there's something out there that's against me, that wants me to fail, and I don't just mean a 300 pound suicidial burger-eating cocksucker and a 230 pound retarded alligator i mean some sort of malicilous cosmic force that likes to play with my head...

I mean i don't know... i just want our date to be rescheduled... i want this to work, but know ing my life it wont' and i'll end up with another illiterate belly dancer who never pays for anything.. :-/

Is my karma backward?

2006-06-22T05:12:51Z

I'm pretty sure at this point it is, i do the right thing all the time and i get punished anyway, i could give a million examples even a few from the past two days.

at this point my date is not happening at least not at the time we planned, she forgot she had to housesit for her mom in santa rosa. i believe her, she wouldn't lie. i'm just worried i messed up again like i often do.

She's been really into me the past few weeks even though i've hardly ever talked to her before then... maybe once ever?

She's talked about how she wants to hang out a lot this fall and wants us to be really close, and that sounds good so i know i haven't really done anything wrong but i always worry that i've screwed myself over even though the evidence doesn't support my conclusion at all.

I've always done the right thing when it comes to girls. I've had the chance to take advantage of a drunk girl and i didn't. I think my karma is screwed over, this shouldn't happen either that or i'm still going to get a date with kate... just not this saturday.

but sometimes it seems like if i started sleeping with drunk girls and being a jackass, i'd get good karma in my love life. but i would never do that.

Advice please

2006-06-13T08:48:09Z

Sorry guys just have a couple questions for you. :-)

I haven't actually... well this is my first date as in I asked out a girl and she said yes... Angie actually was the one who asked me out, and she made all the first moves.

I've never made the first move, but i should probably do something... i don't want to do the lame "move" where i pretend to yawn because that's just stupid...

and should I pay? I've been told (mostly by guys) that guys MUST pay for all dates, but i personally think that the girls should pay some of the time. I personally prefer to split with me paying more than half still, but I guess it's up to her and how she feels.

I just dont' want to get into that situation where I think it's a romantic date and she thinks she's just being friendly... i'[ve known a lot of guys do that...

But anyway yeah, we basically started talking online just a week ago on facebook and she gave me her IM name (By her choice, i didn't even ask) and we talked a lot, four hours one night... she had to go to bed after a couple hours but couldn't sleep we talked for 2 more hours, and she was really glad i stayed up with her

and tonight just after I asked her out, a few minutes later she said "What are you thinking about? :-)" and I hope i'm not over-interpreting but i think she sees this as something that could be more than friendship.

but yeah... things are awesome :-)

The era has ended.

2006-06-13T07:46:01Z

Hey everyone. I realize it's been five months now and I have news.

The era of datelessness will end, I'm going out with a girl on the 24th, we're seeing a movie in san francisco at a really nice theater. she seems really awesome. and I met her online, but she goes to my school. :-)

I'm in a great mood, and I guess I'll give you guys a quick recap of the last five months... I've been shot with BB guns, had ketchup poured on my head by retarded alligators, and be "analyzed" by someone who really just likes to give me vague hints about problems with my life just to ruin my mood...

but that doesn't matter. it's called karma... for every Bullet fired in my bed to wake me up, for every girl that markie tried to steal from me finally i got what i deserve :-D

so yeah... life is good... i can't wait. i wish it could be sooner too but we have busy schedules... and she is hot... she's smart, she plays video games, she's a HUGE giants fan, she has pets... we have a lot of little things in common so we can talk about stuff, and i've realized how things work. i haven't mentioned stupid life problems or asperger's because honestly people can't tell i have it and it's not in control of my life and that's morei mpressive than telling peopel all my details and sharing stupid secrets

So there you go... an update.

If the date doesn't go well (which I think I will) then there's always something else and at least i tried!

Scamm'd

2006-01-24T09:22:34Z

I got scamm'd.

It's rare that I ever get myspace messages.... here's one I got from "Molly"

Say, whats going on? Im checking out you guys on my friends profile. So please dont write back to her, she gets enough attention :) My email is here spent_kristen@yahoo. Write me back and Ill send you some pix so you know who you are dealing with Im not holding out for anything in specific, just to meet some cool guys and maybe go out a couple times. Let me know if you're interested.

Apparently she was on her friend's account, so I emailed her:

I got your myspace message and it seemed actually real. You're not one of those weird fake people, right? And you're from Cupertino so that's cool. How're you doing?

Hi Jesse ! Hey you found me! I was a little worried
you wouldn't be able to :P so, how are you? I am ok..
Im sneaking a email in at work before my boss comes
in, so sorry if it's a little short! I promise to
write more later :)

So I promised you some pics huh? :P well I will have
to send you some of me when I get home (don't have the
pics here at work). In the meantime you can check out
my personal homepage. It is kind of playground while I
am taking this intro to HTML class, kind of like my
blog page. Here is the link:
http://candyhearthost.com/kristenswebspace Its not
much yet but its getting there. hehe

So tell me more about yourself, are you a work to live
or live to work kinda person? What are you looking for
in a girl? Do you like myspace? I think I will make a
profile soon, its free right? and you can add your own
HTML? That would be cool..

Anyways, enough with the 20 questions right? oh, I
prefer to chat on IM, its more personal you know? Do
you have AIM? im natkat224 on there, msg me sometime
ok?

Well I should log off and get some work done.. Write
back soon! and take care!

xoxo ~ Kristen

I googled up the random stuff and i finally googled natkat224, it's a porn scam.

yay porn scams. god they get creepier every minute.

For someone who has been in the "REal word' more than me, he didn't really know what he was talking

2005-12-10T22:00:26Z

About. Long title. sorry.

one of my best friends is 20 and married and has had jobs since 15 or 16. I didn't get my first job until I was 19, almost 20.

I remember about a month ago, when I had a shift friday night when we were going to do D&D, and he said I should just call in sick and cancel it. That isn't very realisitc. I mean wasn't. I ended up finding a guy to cover.

It just surprised me how unrealisitc his world view was, or maybe i'm just too straight and that's normal

:-P

should I work any time i am asked?

2005-12-10T10:18:52Z

Ok so I had friday and saturday off this weekend. joe from worked called me, and asked me to work friday for him. I did, i wanted to since i like working. but i made plans for saturday already but today at work people kept asking me to work saturday, because narnia is huge so they underestimated how many they need. i have plans thuogh, and i'm not working 6 days the week after finals

should i have tkaen another shift?

Some advice for me.

2005-12-08T08:25:25Z

Don't count your chickens before they hatch, and more importantly don't forget to put them in the incubator before they die as eggs.

I'm not hungry for the eggs though.

Lots of stuff

2005-11-28T07:12:53Z

Ok, so lots of stuff has happened since... two weeks ago?

Good stuff, to be sure. First.. and I think most important? I got the new 98 corolla... not new but i mean newer than the 86 nova of craptation

and my roommate is talking to me again like normal... just messing around with me he said, i hope he never does that again

there was also this REALLY good looking girl at work last night... imean a guest, not a coworker and i told her and her friend to see harry potter they loved it, and my coworker alan said that this girl said i was cute, it turned out to be that girl. he knows her really well, maybe i can get her number from him. he said he would get it for me. :-)

I have also been put in the box office every shift for... 3 weeks now? I know that's a good sign, they want me to do guest services, i'm going to be trained next month when i'm home. And the managing director told me i should do the projection booth because i've been really good at everything I've done so far. I don't think he knows i'm mechanically retarded... :-P Threading film, i've never seen it... it just sounds like something a guy like me could fuck up. But I do want to get trained. i'lll probably find out it's not as hard as i thought... and the more i know, the more shifts i can get, the better i look to everyone
and i'm not sure where i'm going with my job here... I'm doing really well. I have no desire to quit in the foreseeable future... but I also am going to school full time, and i dont' know if they want a weekends-only shift lead/manager along the line with only working full time during the summer.

i mean, i could always, eventually transfer to the AMC in oakland and work there sometimes if i have day classes but that would mean no longer visiting home, which i don't know, yeah that'd be complicated. i'm thinking too far ahead.

Anyway I got my car and the URC has declared me a good driver. The URC is the unnecessary regulation comission, aka my mom. She loves to regulate every aspect of my life from what i eat to how much i sleep and her commandments are often contradictioary. I should relax more.... but i shouldn't play WoW as much. anyway, she said i drive welll.. and after being "Tested" twice once by my dad and then by her... i can drive the car to school on my own... That may sound odd to you guys with more.. hands-off, laissez faire parents. you lucky bastards!

so yes tonight i drove to school by myself. it felt nice. I don't have a CD player in the car. i need to get one of those Tape-CD jack things so i dont' have to deal with the lottery of radio music. My favorite station 104.9 has decided to play "80s leftovers" most of which should have stayed in the 80s.

Two more weeks of school. too many assignments. i'm getting a head start on some though. my partner for game theory is a cool guy but he's an integral student, which means he has some REALLY great ideas, but then a lot of the time what he thinks is an amazing idea is just a long and complicated way to do a simple math problem. but he's cool, due to his idea of having people fill out information cards and giving them to us instead of having us collect them slowly, we got 5 more extra credit points... we already got 5 extra credit points by winning the "Auction" for n0vember 16th. my game theory teachers is odd...
but i like him!
I hope to hear from you (aka comment!)

Look do it

2005-09-29T18:51:33Z

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor/color of jello to wrestle with you in. (Maybe.)
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.